Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
