Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
