Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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