roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
