He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
only you would photoshop your dick
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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