Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
As shirtless as possible
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
