Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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