and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
