you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You were trust falling into bushes
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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