I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
