He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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