i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im six kinds of drunk right now
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
