I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
