Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
