i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
