I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
