we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
