I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
