Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
