are you still at the devil's house?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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