yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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