It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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