Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
