chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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