the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sext me about skeletons
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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