have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's official drugs can't kill me
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
