i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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