is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
