A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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