I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
