ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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