State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
