I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
