I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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