I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
