69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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