Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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