Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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