Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
