she looked like the before picture.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm always down for nudity.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
