I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Randomize
