So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
