You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
