Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Plan B is the new Plan A
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
