the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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