I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
