We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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