Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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