Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
