Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
