I wish I only lived at night.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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