i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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