they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
