I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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