I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
